Skeletons, Bloodshed, And Rainbows
by Dry.Martini.Shaken.Not.Stirred
Summary: Who would of thought our favorite ninjas would have any time to take a break? With bickering teammates, snuggling Senseis, and down trodden sleep deprived villians, vacation might not be as joyful as thought. R&R. Ino/Shika, Neji/Ten,More R


**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO. MISASHI KISHIMOTO DOES. Don't sure me**

**A/N:**

Okay, this is gonna be another comedy/Romance. So enjoy

The Pairings are:

Ino/Shika [Main)

Neji/Ten [Main)

Naru/Hinata/Kiba [Might lean toward Kiba more)

Kurenai/Asuma

Sasuke/Sakura?

Anko/Kakashi

Shizune/Genma

Sakura/Naruto [Maybe...)

Lee/Sakura [One sided, on Lee's part OF COURSE)

Don't forget to R&R mon amies

* * *

Ino Yamanaka sat on a tree stump with her legs crossed ever so daintily. She had her hands placed gently on her knees. Her attention seemed to be drifting into oblivion as she tilted her head the side and narrowed her eyes slightly trying to pay close attention to her blabbing sensei.

"So, the point of my little story is that Kurenai, of team 8, Kakashi of team 7, Gai, and I have decided maybe for the first time in forever that we'd take a little vacation" Asuma Saturobi had previously withdrawn his cigarette from his lips to let the smoke billow from between them. His charcoal black eyes settled on his three students.

"Meh, why?" Came the simple question from the laziest of the three ninjas. Shikamaru Nara had his back leaning against the stump that Ino was currently sitting on. He had positioned himself comfortably by sitting Indian style. Shikamaru looked over at their sensei with a lazy expression and slowly put his hands behind his head.

"Gee Shika, I didn't think you were one to complain about this" Ino sarcastically remarked with a smirk at her fellow teammate. She knew that Shikamaru knew it was a teasing comment on her part.

"Why? Well would you rather work and train?" Asuma questioned in return as he slipped the thin cigarette back into his mouth. He let it dangle there loosely, as if it were a toothpick or one of Genma's weeds. He raised a hand to stop Shikamaru from opening his mouth to comment. " I know, you're curious" He shrugged his large brooding shoulders till they nearly reached his ears. "Well, we just figured it was time to take a break. Besides, crime has been on the low, and missions are kind of small and minuscule at this time."

Shikamaru raised a single eyebrow upward in doubt. Still, he refrained from making a comment. He would usually mutter complaints under his breath. But, even Shikamaru was due for a break. He had found himself wanting to get some kind of time off. And apparently this was the time. He didn't dare complain...it just wasn't the time to.

Chouji Akimichi took a bite of his potato chip. Silently he chewed his food, yet furrowed his eyebrows, now interested in what his sensei was saying. A vacation. Oh how exciting, It had been forever since Chouji had time to do more than train, and go through ridiculous weight loss programs that his team had stuck him in. All of which had failed miserably. Finally Chouji gave one last gulp, and swallowed any remains of the chips that he had just devoured. He licked his lips and gently wiped his mouth with his hand. Chouji now opened his mouth to speak up.

"So...where are we going?" He asked tilting his head to the left.

"To the beach" Asuma replied and shifted the lit cancer stick from the right side of his mouth to the left.

"Oh. Joy" Shikamaru retorted, his response was thick with clear sarcasm.

"Oh. Shika, quit being such a Debbie Downer" Ino responded and shook her head. Pursing her lips together she contemplated silently in her head what she was going to pack.

Chouji shook his empty chip bag, catching the crumbs with his open palm. A small pout crossed his face as he gave up on finding any remaining piece of food that was bigger than a speck. He crinkled up the bag and looked around wildly trying to find a place to lay his precious bag. Giving up once more, Chouji decided to slip the crinkled thing into his pant pocket. He turned his head and looked at each of his teammates with innocent eyes. None seemed to have any questions. Yet, Chouji had something that was bothering him.

Taking up the courage to ask Chouji piped up once more. "But Sensei, how are we going to bunk? And...exactly where are we staying? And...uh...when are we going?"

Asuma took a large puff on his cigarette and allowed the smoke to envelope him. Sighing heavily he pulled the cigarette from his lips hold and gave Chouji a quick glance. "Er. Well" Asuma paused and smiled toothily at his chubbiest pupil. "We are leaving tomorrow. We rented out a floor at a local hotel down there." He answered the various questions with his usual smooth demeanor. "And," Asuma continued on. "The bunking order is going to be said when we get there. "

Ino scrunched up her nose in uncertainty. "Why can't you say whose bunking with who right now?" She puffed out her cheeks as if she were a puffer fish. "I mean, I don't want to be bunking with a guy. It would be awkward. And most guys smell" She said in a matter of fact type of voice.

"Oh gee. Thanks" Shikamaru snickered under his breath, his voice dripping with obvious sarcasm.

"That's not true...I don't smell." Chouji whined and paused. "Or at least..I don't think I do." He then lifted one arm and sniffed. "Do I smell Shika?" He turned to the ponytailed teen.

"No, its not true Chou. Ino's just being ignorant" Shikamaru replied with a satisfied smirk.

"Oh ha ha." Ino snapped and landed a balled up fist against his head. "Its true. Even you smell, you stupid boy" She stuck her tounge out at Shikamaru who was busy rubbing his head. "Nah, " Ino turned her gaze to the chubbier boy. "No, you don't smell THAT bad Chouji" She confirmed patting the boys head with her hand like he was a cat.

Asuma cleared his throat, grabbing the attention of his bickering team. "I can't say the bunking assignments, because I'm not the one who wrote it all up."

"Oh." Chouji and Ino chirped together in unison. It was not surprise what Shikamaru opened his mouth to say.

"How Bothersome"

"I know right?" Asuma joked with a toothy grin of his own. He gently switched out his dull cigarette with a newly lit one. "Want to smoke the last bit of it?" He offered to Shikamaru.

Shikamaru gave out a heavy sigh and held up his hand in rejection to the slightly disturbing offer. "No thanks. I'll pass on the whole cigarette offer. It would be like swapping saliva"

"Understood." Asuma responded in return and dropped his wasted cigarette to the floor, and stamped it out with his foot. "Right then...all of you, go pack." He ordered with a grin only Asuma Saturobi could wear.

:::::AT Team Eights Spar/Training Area::::::

Kurenai Yuuhi sighed heavily as she rubbed her temple. Ugh. These students of hers were giving her a headache. Well, to be honest, it was just one student and his dog that was giving the red orbed sensei a blistering pain. She dropped her hands from her head, and placed them on her hips. A frown was sketched across her pale face. She narrowed her eyes at the loudest of her wild trio.

"What is it Kiba?" Kurenai sighed heavily and furrowed her brow at the teen.

Kiba Inuzuka only replied with a giant toothy grin. Akamaru, his k-9 companion, wiggled inside his furry hoody. Kiba jumped off the log that he was comfortably squatted on. He stood up and put his hands to his side in a mock salute. "So then we get a break huh?" Kiba barked out his question, as if he himself were a dog.

"Thats what I said." Kurenai responded in exasperation.

"And its at the beach?" Kiba now had placed Akamaru ontop his head, where the tiny pup clung to his disheveld hair by use of paws.

"Once again, yes" Yuuhi nodded as her frown began to turn into an agitated scowl.

"Annnndddd...we stay at a hotel?"

"Of course" Kurenai's brow now twitched. How many times would she have to repeat herself to get it through the Inuzuka's thick skull?

"So...can I sleep with Hinata? I mean, as in...bunk with her" Kiba asked excitedly. Akamaru barked and gave a what seemed to resemble a grin.

A snort was heard from Shino, who had remained silent until now. Kiba shot him a heated glare that spoke of death threats that assured the end if Shino were to make a comment. Hinata, at the moment was distracted. She had her clear eyes on a butterfly that was rested on a nearby flower. This was enough of a distraction for Hinata not to hear Kiba's obserd comment.

Kurenai scoffed and scrunched her nose. "Hopefully, Kakashi won't bunk...Hormonal boys such as yourselves with someone as innocent as Hinata"

"I could deal for the not so innocent" Kiba grin grew as Kurenai guffawed.

"How'd I end up with you on my team?" She groaned.

"You love me. Admit it." He wiggled his eyebrows at her playfully. "Come on sensei...you wouldn't choose any other loud mouth"

Kurenai's mouth began to twitch upward as she shook her head. "Maybbee..."

"Huh?" Hinata looked up and tilted her head to the side. The butterfly had flown away. And apparently she had missed something.

::::::At The Local Bar::::

"What is it you want Hitake?" Anko Mitarashi asked with a trouble making snicker. She knew the silver hair pervert was here for some reason other than just to spend some time with her. She spun on her bar stool to stare directly at the fairly handsome jounin.

"Who said I'm here to get something?" Kakashi replied with a grin that was hidden behind his thick mask.

"Because...when you sat down you settled your disturbing book down. You don't immediatly put that disgusting thing down unless you have something you want to say." She grabbed her sake and drowned it with the tilt of her head. Settling the glass down, Anko shook her head and laughed. "Can't fool me Hitake. I've known you too long."

Kakashi raised one visible eyebrow before giving a defeated sigh and raising his hands in the air as if he was a found convict. "You got me. I came here wanting a favor" He had to give it to Anko, she was a bright one.

"Shoot" Anko snickered. "Go on"

"Well, you run around the rumor mills alot? Am I correct in saying so?" Kakashi eyed a sake bottle just right of Anko's elbow. Damned if he dare lower his mask just to have a sip of that poison.

"I try" Anko said with a shrug of a shoulder, as if she wasn't proud that she was rumor queen of the village. Aside Ino and Sakura of course.

"Of course." Kakashi muttered cheekily and shook his head. "Well, I have to come up with this...bunking list for our planned vacation..." He spoked slowly as if Ankos drinking would make her not understand his words. "SO, I figure in revenge of Gai, Kurenai, and Asuma for dragging me there, and deciding that I have to come instead of work on a new volume of Ichi Ichi Paradice, that I would get them back. "

"How so?" Anko questioned as she raised both her eyebrows in curiosity.

"Well. By putting their teamate in one anothers room...acording to rumored romances." Kakashi responded as if it were obvious.

"What are you a girl?" She sniggered and sighed. "Well, thats some revenge. They wont be able to train...when all you have are love stricken teens...is that where you are going with that?"

"Yes" Kakashi stated blankly. He, of course, failed to note the huge whole in the theory that hormoned would not affect his team, nor their preformance. HE was afterall a guy. And so, he didn't think these things through.

"Give me that list...I'll fix the bedding assignments. And in return I want you two buy me two bottles of Vodka" Anko always worked for a price.

"Deal" Kakashi agreed and slipped her the paper on which the grouping was written.

"Bloody fucking brilliant" Anko grinned darkly as she took a pen and bent over the assignments.

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**A/N:**

Now that you read it...how about doing a little Replying. A little R&R for the author?

Oy. And also. Constructive Critism is appreciated. Flaming, means that you are a royal little shit. So don't do it.

So, here's the dealio. I'm gonna have a vote on Crack pairing...because I decided I want at least one cute/odd pair or two thrown in. So heres where you get to vote.

Whose the odd pair I should toss in?

Temari/Shino

Temari/Chouji

Temari/Gaara [I know...disturbing. But some like it)

Temari/Kankuro [Same as Ga/Tem)

Chouji/Ino

Lee/Temari

Gaara/Lee [Not a fan, but what ever gets me more reviews and appeases readers I'll do XD)

Anko/Genma


End file.
